Lonely

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down
As I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes
You forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now, can't you see something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay
It's okay

Tears

Two teardrops were floatin' down the river
One teardrop said to the other
I'm from the soft blue eyes of a woman in love
I'm a tear of joy she couldn't carry
She was so happy she just got married
I was on her cheek when she wiped me away with her glove
I could tell from the look on her face she didn't need me
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

The other tear said we've got a connection
I'm a tear of sorrow born of rejection
I'm from the sad blue eyes of her old flame
She told him they would be lifelong companions
Left him with questions and not any answers
I was on his cheek as he stood there calling her name
I could tell he had a lot of my friends for company
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

Oh the ocean's a little bit bigger tonight
Two more teardrops somebody cried
One of them happy and one of them bluer than blue
The tide goes out and the tide comes in
And someday they'll be teardrops again
Released in a moment of pleasure or a moment of pain
Then they drift on down and ride to the sea again

Ive been standing here
Waiting for you
But I don't quite know
What I'm gonna do
So I drag my heels and
I scratch the dust

I see the rain clouds forming
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

You told me lies to protect the truth
But you won't admit
What you're really gonna do
So you hold me to ransom
Every chance you get
And you tie me down
So I'm a broken man

I see the future fading
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

Your words are out of touch
But they don't help me much
cause I fear the fear of falling
You seem to hear no warning
Your words are out of touch
This dream won't come to much
cause I fear the fear of falling
Why can't you hear me calling
Forever calling

You change the rules
The color of your skin
And then slam the door
So I cant reach in
Ive tried so hard to be heard
So you think you know it all
But I'll steal the last word

Ive watched the daylight fading
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

Your words are out of touch
But they don't help me much
cause I fear the fear of falling
You seem to hear no warning
Your words are out of touch
Your dream wont come to much
cause I fear the fear of falling
Why cant you hear my warning

The dream is disappearing
cause you've got
The power with you

So here we are
This dream has gone too far ...

When

When again will it happen again? I'm hungry... and there are so many good movies out.

Thrust

I hope that love he gave you,
Was just enough to save you.
You nearly broke my heart,
Just look at what you’re tearing apart!

Stab my back again,
It’s better when I bleed for you.
Walk on me,
There never was enough to do.

I can’t get past her,
Falling faster,
It's true.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

It’s better when I bleed for you.
It never was enough to do.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

Acrimony

Tonight I did some reading... I read all the posts back about nine months or so on my Xanga site. I read the protected posts that those of you here cannot see. The ones that only Sami and myself could read and comment on at the time. I think back on my time with Sami. We had some very good times. Honestly though, reading through all that makes me feel physically ill. I hadn't realized how far it had borrowed into my being. I wish her luck because I am incapable of wishing harm on someone. I also wish her to feel what I felt. To know what it was like to be there like I was and get hurt so badly. Part of me feels good knowing it's over, but part feels a sadness and longing of times once wonderful. I know she'll probably never read this but that is alright. It helps me put my heart and mind at ease writing it all down. I could spew volumes of how I feel but it'll never really fix the problem.

I took the seed of sorrow that was left of my heart.
I planted it alone in a shallow grave.
I gave it light and blood.
It's grown to fruition.
It is a black thing of despair and loathing.

It's so sad to witness. I know many of you feel this yourselves. It's hard to love someone and despise them at the same time. It is quite unavoidable though at this point.

Sigh

It's been some time now since my last post. I was on vacation for two weeks. I was time off from work but it wasn't all happy and joyful. I had a great time with my cousin Jason in Waupaca to start. Got to go to an employee only party with about 40 women and 4 men and that was a blast... crazy girls! Then the second week I went to Jellystone park with my friends. So all in all there were good times. However the bad shit happened too... my Playstation Portable stopped working and as yet has to show signs of life... I chalk it up to how humid it's been. My phone's 9 key no longer functions and I think it's for the same reason. So yeah, basically two of my most used possessions now no longer work right. Ever tried txting someone without the use of the 9 key? It's nearly impossible since the letter Y is there! As for other bad shit... I'm tired of my crappy lack of hours at Staples. I'm going to go back to just Saturdays and get a full time job during the week. Actually on that point I do have some very good news.... I got two calls this week from employers interested in me. One is an insurance firm which sounds not so bad. The other is a week to two week long project replacing pc's for a large company with the potential to be hired on afterwords... this one is so me for work and pay is $18 an hour and it starts next Thursday. Sooo yeah, that'd be nice. Only drawback is that I'm scheduled at Staples T/Th/Fri/Sat these next weeks. Guess I'll just have to tell them I'm getting a new job? Dunno. Well, feedback and advice would be appreciated. :)

Mike