Everything happens for a reason... how weak.

Freewill
People still have a trouble time understanding the full extent to which we have control of our own lives, and influence others around us. Let me try to make this simple.

You go to the cinema, buy the tickets and go to the room of the movie you've chosen. In the middle of the movie, you decide you don't like it and decide to leave, and go to another room, to see a completely different movie. The movies are oportunities, situations, things that are not of your control. You don't chose what's in the movie. It is already made! But you DO chose what movie you want to see. The cinema is a part of your life. It only has 3 movies and you don't like the choices? YOU decided to go to THAT cinema in the first place. Go to one with better choices!
This is a big realization. You do influence the opportunities and situations around you... basically your entire life... with not only your actions, but also your thoughts!

Karma
I'm not a student of eastern mysticism, but let me use this word in its simplest form to understand something about balance. Everything in the Universe must have balance. You can look at evil as being unbalance if you will. When I say karma, its only a word to describe the process of "cause and effect". Good karma, bad karma.... basically means that good causes, originate good effects. Likewise, bad causes (or bad seeds), originate bad effects. A bad seed will originate a bad plant.... damaged genes in DNA gives place to a mutated, ill or defected being.

So, bad actions and even bad THOUGHTS, MUST have bad effects... sooner or later... in this life or another. This leads to some thinkings that I don't like, just like I don't like polluted water. It's the base for "he got what he deserve", "god is punishing her", etc... People do get what they deserve, but it must not be seen in a judge's point of view. Doing that is like orbiting happily around the earth, than one gets curious, and decides to go down, making gravity do its work into a crash and burn effect. Its not gravity's fault... it's not god... the choice is from the person alone. Gravity just IS, and is the same for everybody.

Other people's choices must be RESPECTED, either for good or for bad. Freewill is something to be grateful for. Don't turn into a dictator, saying your way is the best way, and making everyone follow with, using tools like fear. If your opinions don't echo as truth in another person's mind, it will be ignored and discarted. Dictatorship, authority, religion... they all use fear to control others in taking the direction of a few. Just remember how christianity used to be even worse than it is today! You had to pay, to have your little parking space in heaven (how stupid does that sound? not for a robot)... but worse, it means someone saying to you "if you don't do this you'll go to hell... you must do that to save your soul", etc... and this is still so, even today.

I talk about respect, but that doesn't mean you have to accept. Some people make bad decisions, and you can't let them influence you in a bad way... you or others close to you. That is your choice. You can't control other people's actions, but you CAN control how it affects you. So if you don't believe in anything I say to you, you'll just ignore all of this and move on. It's automatic. If things don't make sense, you can either aknowledge that you miss some things and need to explore them, or just ignore it all. I say this is fine. It is your choice. Sooner or later, you'll know better, but that is your path. I just hope you question these things, and seek your own answers.


The right time for everything
Sometimes it's wonderful how some things happen in just the right moment! Sometimes we can't imagine how things would be, if it were not for that one thing. I say this happens as the opposite of that state when you just wished there was a time machine to go back and change the past. Of course, as with everything, there are degrees... sometimes it feels stronger then others. What if you didn't do that one thing, or what if you did that other? Who knows? There was a quantum sea of possibilities in that moment, it could be anything... you could be another person. That's why I say don't worry about it. It's just a waste of time.

Everything is connected. Our lives are like a point in a network of lives, situations and opportunitites. More like an hub. Sometimes you're not ready for some experiences. There is NO ONE deciding WHEN you're ready or not. When you're not ready, you'll simply ignore that which you're not ready. Go back to one of those times that you actually heard your navigator (followed your gut), and things happened just "as they should". If you could see every opportunity you missed before that, you wouldn't say "things happend as they should". They did, because somewhere in time, YOU learned a lesson and YOU were ready for that opportunity, where YOU chose, YOU wouldn't miss. You don't see the causes, only the effects, and when things go the right way, they look like "someone" had a big plan for you and things gone as they should. Release yourself from that and remember this... the Universe doesn't reveal itself more than what you're prepared for! You just ignore and miss the things you're not ready for. Try to teach a 10 year old how to solve differencial equations and he will just forget the whole thing, the moment you say "equations". Try teaching it to someone who knows about equations, integrals and derivatives... and he would be ready to learn it.

Sum it up!
So, your thoughts DO influence your life, not only your actions. This is a known scientific fact, but goes much further than the physical. If you keep having bad thoughts, you keep ATTRACTING bad things to yourself. People need to start taking responsibility for their lives, and start living the lives they want. Thoughts are SO important and SIGNIFICANT! Before you take action, before you make a choice, there is the thought... there is ideas. Everything that exists, began with a thought, even our physical "things". The computer in which you're reading this right now began with thoughts in the minds of a few people. Hell, even the whole planet began with a thought.. an idea... not by a human of course, but by another consciousness totaly alien to you. When I say alien I mean absolutely different, in every way. It's like picking one of your red cells, and trying to explain how our human civilizations and religions work! Your red cell couldn't even begin to grasp the concept... it would most likely explode!

Some may have difficulty imagining other consciousness. I say don't think about it if you don't want to.

Tis the season....

Yeah, so I was sick all week. Sucks. Christmas is coming up and as usual I'm totally unprepared. Go figure. Other than that it's all been work, work, work.

Grrr

I fucking HATE drama.

New days

Well the end of my lease is here. I was originally going to move in with my friend Mike Brahe but things didn't quite turn out. So since I've already ended my utilities come the end of this week I needed to take action. I'm going to move into an apartment on Airport Road in Menasha. It's just on the opposite side of the block from my Aunt Kathy's duplex. I won't have internet for a bit until I get it installed, but I guess that's how things go, huh? Well gtg.

Misury

I'll be there...

I 'll be there
when all your dreams are broken
to answer your unspoken prayers
when the little things you're doing
don't turn out right
don't you worry darling
I'll be there

I'll miss you
and in my dreams I'll kiss you
and wish you luck on your new affair
so baby if you need me
all you have to do is call me
and don't you worry darling
I'll be there

there whenever you need to know
that there is someone who cares
so if your new love
isn't a true love
don't you worry darling
I'll be there

ohh I'll be there
don't you worry darling
cuz you know I'll be there
don't you worry....

Lonely

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down
As I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes
You forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now, can't you see something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay
It's okay

Tears

Two teardrops were floatin' down the river
One teardrop said to the other
I'm from the soft blue eyes of a woman in love
I'm a tear of joy she couldn't carry
She was so happy she just got married
I was on her cheek when she wiped me away with her glove
I could tell from the look on her face she didn't need me
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

The other tear said we've got a connection
I'm a tear of sorrow born of rejection
I'm from the sad blue eyes of her old flame
She told him they would be lifelong companions
Left him with questions and not any answers
I was on his cheek as he stood there calling her name
I could tell he had a lot of my friends for company
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

Oh the ocean's a little bit bigger tonight
Two more teardrops somebody cried
One of them happy and one of them bluer than blue
The tide goes out and the tide comes in
And someday they'll be teardrops again
Released in a moment of pleasure or a moment of pain
Then they drift on down and ride to the sea again