When

When again will it happen again? I'm hungry... and there are so many good movies out.

Thrust

I hope that love he gave you,
Was just enough to save you.
You nearly broke my heart,
Just look at what you’re tearing apart!

Stab my back again,
It’s better when I bleed for you.
Walk on me,
There never was enough to do.

I can’t get past her,
Falling faster,
It's true.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

It’s better when I bleed for you.
It never was enough to do.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

Acrimony

Tonight I did some reading... I read all the posts back about nine months or so on my Xanga site. I read the protected posts that those of you here cannot see. The ones that only Sami and myself could read and comment on at the time. I think back on my time with Sami. We had some very good times. Honestly though, reading through all that makes me feel physically ill. I hadn't realized how far it had borrowed into my being. I wish her luck because I am incapable of wishing harm on someone. I also wish her to feel what I felt. To know what it was like to be there like I was and get hurt so badly. Part of me feels good knowing it's over, but part feels a sadness and longing of times once wonderful. I know she'll probably never read this but that is alright. It helps me put my heart and mind at ease writing it all down. I could spew volumes of how I feel but it'll never really fix the problem.

I took the seed of sorrow that was left of my heart.
I planted it alone in a shallow grave.
I gave it light and blood.
It's grown to fruition.
It is a black thing of despair and loathing.

It's so sad to witness. I know many of you feel this yourselves. It's hard to love someone and despise them at the same time. It is quite unavoidable though at this point.

Sigh

It's been some time now since my last post. I was on vacation for two weeks. I was time off from work but it wasn't all happy and joyful. I had a great time with my cousin Jason in Waupaca to start. Got to go to an employee only party with about 40 women and 4 men and that was a blast... crazy girls! Then the second week I went to Jellystone park with my friends. So all in all there were good times. However the bad shit happened too... my Playstation Portable stopped working and as yet has to show signs of life... I chalk it up to how humid it's been. My phone's 9 key no longer functions and I think it's for the same reason. So yeah, basically two of my most used possessions now no longer work right. Ever tried txting someone without the use of the 9 key? It's nearly impossible since the letter Y is there! As for other bad shit... I'm tired of my crappy lack of hours at Staples. I'm going to go back to just Saturdays and get a full time job during the week. Actually on that point I do have some very good news.... I got two calls this week from employers interested in me. One is an insurance firm which sounds not so bad. The other is a week to two week long project replacing pc's for a large company with the potential to be hired on afterwords... this one is so me for work and pay is $18 an hour and it starts next Thursday. Sooo yeah, that'd be nice. Only drawback is that I'm scheduled at Staples T/Th/Fri/Sat these next weeks. Guess I'll just have to tell them I'm getting a new job? Dunno. Well, feedback and advice would be appreciated. :)

Mike