Tis the season....

Yeah, so I was sick all week. Sucks. Christmas is coming up and as usual I'm totally unprepared. Go figure. Other than that it's all been work, work, work.

Grrr

I fucking HATE drama.

New days

Well the end of my lease is here. I was originally going to move in with my friend Mike Brahe but things didn't quite turn out. So since I've already ended my utilities come the end of this week I needed to take action. I'm going to move into an apartment on Airport Road in Menasha. It's just on the opposite side of the block from my Aunt Kathy's duplex. I won't have internet for a bit until I get it installed, but I guess that's how things go, huh? Well gtg.

Misury

I'll be there...

I 'll be there
when all your dreams are broken
to answer your unspoken prayers
when the little things you're doing
don't turn out right
don't you worry darling
I'll be there

I'll miss you
and in my dreams I'll kiss you
and wish you luck on your new affair
so baby if you need me
all you have to do is call me
and don't you worry darling
I'll be there

there whenever you need to know
that there is someone who cares
so if your new love
isn't a true love
don't you worry darling
I'll be there

ohh I'll be there
don't you worry darling
cuz you know I'll be there
don't you worry....

Lonely

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down
As I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes
You forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now, can't you see something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay
It's okay

Tears

Two teardrops were floatin' down the river
One teardrop said to the other
I'm from the soft blue eyes of a woman in love
I'm a tear of joy she couldn't carry
She was so happy she just got married
I was on her cheek when she wiped me away with her glove
I could tell from the look on her face she didn't need me
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

The other tear said we've got a connection
I'm a tear of sorrow born of rejection
I'm from the sad blue eyes of her old flame
She told him they would be lifelong companions
Left him with questions and not any answers
I was on his cheek as he stood there calling her name
I could tell he had a lot of my friends for company
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

Oh the ocean's a little bit bigger tonight
Two more teardrops somebody cried
One of them happy and one of them bluer than blue
The tide goes out and the tide comes in
And someday they'll be teardrops again
Released in a moment of pleasure or a moment of pain
Then they drift on down and ride to the sea again

Ive been standing here
Waiting for you
But I don't quite know
What I'm gonna do
So I drag my heels and
I scratch the dust

I see the rain clouds forming
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

You told me lies to protect the truth
But you won't admit
What you're really gonna do
So you hold me to ransom
Every chance you get
And you tie me down
So I'm a broken man

I see the future fading
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

Your words are out of touch
But they don't help me much
cause I fear the fear of falling
You seem to hear no warning
Your words are out of touch
This dream won't come to much
cause I fear the fear of falling
Why can't you hear me calling
Forever calling

You change the rules
The color of your skin
And then slam the door
So I cant reach in
Ive tried so hard to be heard
So you think you know it all
But I'll steal the last word

Ive watched the daylight fading
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

Your words are out of touch
But they don't help me much
cause I fear the fear of falling
You seem to hear no warning
Your words are out of touch
Your dream wont come to much
cause I fear the fear of falling
Why cant you hear my warning

The dream is disappearing
cause you've got
The power with you

So here we are
This dream has gone too far ...

When

When again will it happen again? I'm hungry... and there are so many good movies out.

Thrust

I hope that love he gave you,
Was just enough to save you.
You nearly broke my heart,
Just look at what you’re tearing apart!

Stab my back again,
It’s better when I bleed for you.
Walk on me,
There never was enough to do.

I can’t get past her,
Falling faster,
It's true.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

It’s better when I bleed for you.
It never was enough to do.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

Acrimony

Tonight I did some reading... I read all the posts back about nine months or so on my Xanga site. I read the protected posts that those of you here cannot see. The ones that only Sami and myself could read and comment on at the time. I think back on my time with Sami. We had some very good times. Honestly though, reading through all that makes me feel physically ill. I hadn't realized how far it had borrowed into my being. I wish her luck because I am incapable of wishing harm on someone. I also wish her to feel what I felt. To know what it was like to be there like I was and get hurt so badly. Part of me feels good knowing it's over, but part feels a sadness and longing of times once wonderful. I know she'll probably never read this but that is alright. It helps me put my heart and mind at ease writing it all down. I could spew volumes of how I feel but it'll never really fix the problem.

I took the seed of sorrow that was left of my heart.
I planted it alone in a shallow grave.
I gave it light and blood.
It's grown to fruition.
It is a black thing of despair and loathing.

It's so sad to witness. I know many of you feel this yourselves. It's hard to love someone and despise them at the same time. It is quite unavoidable though at this point.

Sigh

It's been some time now since my last post. I was on vacation for two weeks. I was time off from work but it wasn't all happy and joyful. I had a great time with my cousin Jason in Waupaca to start. Got to go to an employee only party with about 40 women and 4 men and that was a blast... crazy girls! Then the second week I went to Jellystone park with my friends. So all in all there were good times. However the bad shit happened too... my Playstation Portable stopped working and as yet has to show signs of life... I chalk it up to how humid it's been. My phone's 9 key no longer functions and I think it's for the same reason. So yeah, basically two of my most used possessions now no longer work right. Ever tried txting someone without the use of the 9 key? It's nearly impossible since the letter Y is there! As for other bad shit... I'm tired of my crappy lack of hours at Staples. I'm going to go back to just Saturdays and get a full time job during the week. Actually on that point I do have some very good news.... I got two calls this week from employers interested in me. One is an insurance firm which sounds not so bad. The other is a week to two week long project replacing pc's for a large company with the potential to be hired on afterwords... this one is so me for work and pay is $18 an hour and it starts next Thursday. Sooo yeah, that'd be nice. Only drawback is that I'm scheduled at Staples T/Th/Fri/Sat these next weeks. Guess I'll just have to tell them I'm getting a new job? Dunno. Well, feedback and advice would be appreciated. :)

Mike

My penguin is bigger than your's!

I am excited once again! It is THAT time of year... no not THAT time, I'm a guy. It's time for vacation! Two weeks of camping, family, friends and fun. I don't know why I'm so jubilant this year, but I am most excited. I guess maybe cause it's so beautiful out lately and I hope it stays such for two weeks at least. :) Speaking of beautiful, I heard from Nicole randomly the other night. I really do miss her. Alas, the things we may never know. Well, off to bed I go.

Misury

Adieu

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want a statement you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

Amazing weekend

Took a trip North to Lena to visit my cousin John at his new house. So much happened that I fail to remember it all... or it could've been the alcohol induced haze. :) Lot's of drinking since it was up Nort. All in all it was a fantastic time though. Made lots of new friends and hooked up with old ones. Had a huge ass cookout yesterday in the rain. Then just chilled, played drinking games and watched Blazing Sadles. Also got lots of pictures but my dumb ass forgot the camera there! Lol it's cool, John's dropping it off on his way to Madison when he's heading to work. Even had 3 girls put their numbers in my phone. Always nice when you don't even have to ask for the number. Drove back today and made it home in record time. Now I'm just eating a late breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs and fried toast. Yeah, it's not healthy but this whole weekend shot that idea all to hell. ;)

Mike

Hmmm

Sorry for the lack of posting. That's all you get from me, deal with it. :)

Last weekend was my birthday weekend and it went by fast. Went out to eat with a bunch of family and friends at HuHot in Appleton. Most hadn't been there yet so it was made even better just by that fact alone. Everyone loved it! Then after the eats we went down to the little hole in the wall called The Wheel Inn. It's a tiny bar in Metrasha. B/c it was my birthday the owner gave me $4.00 pitchers of beer. YAY! Headache in the wings! Mom also decided to bring jello shots. I drank much too much but had a great time. Even got to see an old girlfriend of mine later in the evening. However we didn't finish at the Wheel, that was just the start! John (my cuz) and myself went downtown to The Bar. Boring, too packed. We went next door to Anduzzi's. Now this looked promising! It's also where I met up with my friend Chad and Dana (my ex). I was already pretty tanked from 13 or so jello shots plus the additional shots bought for me and all that beer. Hey, I got an idea! Let's drink 5 more shots while we are here! Oh yeah, nice choice Einstein. ;) In the end I was dancing with some girl I didn't know and very, very drunk. John and I ended up taking a cab home to my place. The driver was a madman. Took corners on two wheels I tell you! :) The best part was getting out walking to the back of the cab and purging. John came back and said, "What're you doing?!". My reply, "I'm wasting alcohol! What's your problem!". Do you know how hard it is to vomit and laugh at the same time? Lol. Anyways, there's more in my life right now but meh, I'm tired of typing right now so until next time...

Misury

Why?

What is it, looking back, I always hold onto the ones that I shouldn't and don't go after the ones I should? I had her...

I loved her too soon and told her too late.

Mike

Sorry

It's been awhile since I last posted. I went to see Spiderman 3 last night and it kicked ass! Talk about some great acting lol. Then went out to Park Central with my friends and got tanked. It's my birthday this next week so they felt that since they couldn't be around next weekend they make me suffer this weekend I guess. ;) Good time for it since it was Cinco de Mayo too. Anyways, completely useless weekend for productivity, but fun none the less. I miss a bunch of you. I hope I get to see you more soon.

Mike

Yep

So Monday I have my interview for the new job. I'm so excited! :)

===Edit===

The following was removed. It was a confession of feelings for a certain girl. Lest she read it *and she always does* and it get her into trouble with her current boyfriend or cause her discomfort I've removed the content. I'll simply say, I miss you HB.

Misury

Today

I've got my walk-thru and testing at Graphics Packaging in a little over a half an hour. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. Getting this could mean making some larger changes in my life... one's I probably should've made years ago. Now to go get the job. ;)

Misury

Hey all! Thought it time for me to put up some of my pictures... stuff I took with my trusty Sony.

WoW

As the title says I've been playing Worlds of Warcraft more lately. I am a 30/31 resto druid... Up until today I was going with this 30/31 build, which is a good hybrid between melee and healer... However I was missing the damage I was doing as a full feral build. I came up with this 30/31 build which has AMAZING damage. With the first build I'd typically have to heal after every fight or at least every other fight. With the new build I have to heal typically after every 10+ fights. The reason... I can stun and backstab the mob 3-4 times before it even gets to touch me... then I can stun it again and get another 2-3 backstabs in... the finish it off with a finishing move. HUGE dps (damage per second) difference! Ok, well I've rambled on enough about it but if you decide to play a druid try my build out, you won't be disappointed!

Misury

HOORAY!!!

As dumb as it sounds yay, I passed that damn stone. It's about 5mm in size... not the largest to date but that's pretty large. Now I just have to get a new doctor so I can have them test it and see if THEY can tell me what I can do to prevent more...

Misury

Ow!

Kidney stones suck ass. Like getting jackhammered in the balls, only without the foreplay and rough sex. Psh. What a loss...

Misury

Random

Random

Your perceptions and my feelings are two different things. Do not force me to see things the way you want me to and I won't subject you to understanding my feelings.
=========================================================
Do not take me for granted. So long as you are still having good times does it really matter how many bad times might happen in between?
=========================================================
Your reality and mine are two very different places. I see things differently than you do and I'm ok with that. Speaking of which... wtf planet are you from anyway?! xD

Just random things I thought up. Lol.

Misury

Yuppers

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... I was brought from my slumber this morning by Nicole's txt message at around 8 am. Stayed in bed contemplating my day until 9. Finally got up and got ready. It's really odd.. the things you think about when you simply shut out the outside world and just enjoy your solitude. Anyways, gotta run some errands and then I'm going to go do something outside I think. Have a good day kids! I'll post some new pics later that I took over the past few days. :)

Misury

Addendum to St. Pat's

Hey kids... thought I'd put up a few pics from the other day. :)

Good times

Just chilling at my Mom's waiting for Sunday dinner to be ready and thought I'd take a moment to post. I worked until 5:30 last night at Staples and then immediately changed and ran to Appleton to meet everyone at my aunt's place. We drank and celebrated Tom's birthday and had a damn fine time! Then I broke ranks and headed over to Kevin and Kate's place for some more drinking... man, did I mention I love St. Patty's Day?! xD Stayed there until about 12:30 and then headed to a bar in Menasha to chill with fam and friends for the rest of the night. All in all it turned out to be a really tight night and I had a ton of fun! Got LOTS of pics but haven't put any up yet... eventually I will get around to it. ;) Well I hope you all had a great time too!

Misury

Not bad

I like this blogger setup. They allow custom javascripting and such. Added a chat feature to my page so if I'm online you can chat with me realtime. All hail Meebo!!! xD

On another note, I miss my newly found friend Nicole. She just doesn't have any time for me anymore. When I do hear from her it's only briefly and in the form of a text message or two and then she's gone again. Newly found and newly lost I guess. =/

Other than the usual life's not too bad. Working a lot lately. Picked up some new computer customers too. Nothing much else to report right now.

Grrr

I'm not going to get into a bunch of details... People just make me mad and sad. Especially when they totally pull a 180. You think things are good. Then they just slap you across the face when you least expect it. Trust is always given freely but when you burn me it's really hard for me to be there when you decide that you wanna talk. Worst part is I don't think they realize they do it sometimes but it makes me feel like I've done something wrong.

Misury

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry
That I bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an asshole

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just f**k you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to Talk To,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy


I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I've been there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes around

I'm sorry
If I answer my phone all the time when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care. But most of all

I'm sorry
For always being sorry

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you talk all night about how you wish you could have done something different.