Misury's blog

Yeaaah bitches!!!

2008-03-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

An exciting day for me! I got my new laptop at 1pm!!! Following specs:

2.20Ghz Dual Core Intel Centrino Mobile Chip
4 Gigs DDR RAM
512 Meg ATI Radeon 2600 Video Card
160 Gig Hard Drive

Good enough to play all the new games if I want! WOOOOOT!!!

Mike

Simplest of truths

2008-02-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

"When you love somebody it's really hard when you can't see them anymore."

Why do we spend so much time worrying about what we should say and so little time just telling people how we really feel? We know how we feel about them... But once they are gone it's too late to have a chance to listen and to know their feelings too.

Everything happens for a reason... how weak.

2008-01-11T07:27:00.001-08:00

Freewill
People still have a trouble time understanding the full extent to which we have control of our own lives, and influence others around us. Let me try to make this simple.

You go to the cinema, buy the tickets and go to the room of the movie you've chosen. In the middle of the movie, you decide you don't like it and decide to leave, and go to another room, to see a completely different movie. The movies are oportunities, situations, things that are not of your control. You don't chose what's in the movie. It is already made! But you DO chose what movie you want to see. The cinema is a part of your life. It only has 3 movies and you don't like the choices? YOU decided to go to THAT cinema in the first place. Go to one with better choices!
This is a big realization. You do influence the opportunities and situations around you... basically your entire life... with not only your actions, but also your thoughts!

Karma
I'm not a student of eastern mysticism, but let me use this word in its simplest form to understand something about balance. Everything in the Universe must have balance. You can look at evil as being unbalance if you will. When I say karma, its only a word to describe the process of "cause and effect". Good karma, bad karma.... basically means that good causes, originate good effects. Likewise, bad causes (or bad seeds), originate bad effects. A bad seed will originate a bad plant.... damaged genes in DNA gives place to a mutated, ill or defected being.

So, bad actions and even bad THOUGHTS, MUST have bad effects... sooner or later... in this life or another. This leads to some thinkings that I don't like, just like I don't like polluted water. It's the base for "he got what he deserve", "god is punishing her", etc... People do get what they deserve, but it must not be seen in a judge's point of view. Doing that is like orbiting happily around the earth, than one gets curious, and decides to go down, making gravity do its work into a crash and burn effect. Its not gravity's fault... it's not god... the choice is from the person alone. Gravity just IS, and is the same for everybody.

Other people's choices must be RESPECTED, either for good or for bad. Freewill is something to be grateful for. Don't turn into a dictator, saying your way is the best way, and making everyone follow with, using tools like fear. If your opinions don't echo as truth in another person's mind, it will be ignored and discarted. Dictatorship, authority, religion... they all use fear to control others in taking the direction of a few. Just remember how christianity used to be even worse than it is today! You had to pay, to have your little parking space in heaven (how stupid does that sound? not for a robot)... but worse, it means someone saying to you "if you don't do this you'll go to hell... you must do that to save your soul", etc... and this is still so, even today.

I talk about respect, but that doesn't mean you have to accept. Some people make bad decisions, and you can't let them influence you in a bad way... you or others close to you. That is your choice. You can't control other people's actions, but you CAN control how it affects you. So if you don't believe in anything I say to you, you'll just ignore all of this and move on. It's automatic. If things don't make sense, you can either aknowledge that you miss some things and need to explore them, or just ignore it all. I say this is fine. It is your choice. Sooner or later, you'll know better, but that is your path. I just hope you question these things, and seek your own answers.

The right time for everything
Sometimes it's wonderful how some things happen in just the right moment! Sometimes we can't imagine how things would be, if it were not for that one thing. I say this happens as the opposite of that state when you just wished there was a time machine to go back and change the past. Of course, as with everything, there are degrees... sometimes it feels stronger then others. What if you didn't do that one thing, or what if you did that other? Who knows? There was a quantum sea of possibilities in that moment, it could be anything... you could be another person. That's why I say don't worry about it. It's just a waste of time.

Everything is connected. Our lives are like a point in a network of lives, situations and opportunitites. More like an hub. Sometimes you're not ready for some experiences. There is NO ONE deciding WHEN you're ready or not. When you're not ready, you'll simply ignore that which you're not ready. Go back to one of those times that you actually heard your navigator (followed your gut), and things happened just "as they should". If you could see every opportunity you missed before that, you wouldn't say "things happend as they should". They did, because somewhere in time, YOU learned a lesson and YOU were ready for that opportunity, where YOU chose, YOU wouldn't miss. You don't see the causes, only the effects, and when things go the right way, they look like "someone" had a big plan for you and things gone as they should. Release yourself from that and remember this... the Universe doesn't reveal itself more than what you're prepared for! You just ignore and miss the things you're not ready for. Try to teach a 10 year old how to solve differencial equations and he will just forget the whole thing, the moment you say "equations". Try teaching it to someone who knows about equations, integrals and derivatives... and he would be ready to learn it.

Sum it up!
So, your thoughts DO influence your life, not only your actions. This is a known scientific fact, but goes much further than the physical. If you keep having bad thoughts, you keep ATTRACTING bad things to yourself. People need to start taking responsibility for their lives, and start living the lives they want. Thoughts are SO important and SIGNIFICANT! Before you take action, before you make a choice, there is the thought... there is ideas. Everything that exists, began with a thought, even our physical "things". The computer in which you're reading this right now began with thoughts in the minds of a few people. Hell, even the whole planet began with a thought.. an idea... not by a human of course, but by another consciousness totaly alien to you. When I say alien I mean absolutely different, in every way. It's like picking one of your red cells, and trying to explain how our human civilizations and religions work! Your red cell couldn't even begin to grasp the concept... it would most likely explode!

Some may have difficulty imagining other consciousness. I say don't think about it if you don't want to.

Tis the season....

2007-11-23T15:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I was sick all week. Sucks. Christmas is coming up and as usual I'm totally unprepared. Go figure. Other than that it's all been work, work, work.

Grrr

2007-10-20T23:30:00.001-07:00

I fucking HATE drama.

New days

2007-10-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

Well the end of my lease is here. I was originally going to move in with my friend Mike Brahe but things didn't quite turn out. So since I've already ended my utilities come the end of this week I needed to take action. I'm going to move into an apartment on Airport Road in Menasha. It's just on the opposite side of the block from my Aunt Kathy's duplex. I won't have internet for a bit until I get it installed, but I guess that's how things go, huh? Well gtg.

Misury

I'll be there...

2007-09-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

I 'll be there
when all your dreams are broken
to answer your unspoken prayers
when the little things you're doing
don't turn out right
don't you worry darling
I'll be there

I'll miss you
and in my dreams I'll kiss you
and wish you luck on your new affair
so baby if you need me
all you have to do is call me
and don't you worry darling
I'll be there

there whenever you need to know
that there is someone who cares
so if your new love
isn't a true love
don't you worry darling
I'll be there

ohh I'll be there
don't you worry darling
cuz you know I'll be there
don't you worry....

Lonely

2007-09-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down
As I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes
You forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now, can't you see something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay
It's okay

Tears

2007-09-07T11:37:00.001-07:00

Two teardrops were floatin' down the river
One teardrop said to the other
I'm from the soft blue eyes of a woman in love
I'm a tear of joy she couldn't carry
She was so happy she just got married
I was on her cheek when she wiped me away with her glove
I could tell from the look on her face she didn't need me
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

The other tear said we've got a connection
I'm a tear of sorrow born of rejection
I'm from the sad blue eyes of her old flame
She told him they would be lifelong companions
Left him with questions and not any answers
I was on his cheek as he stood there calling her name
I could tell he had a lot of my friends for company
So I drifted on down and caught me a ride to the sea

Oh the ocean's a little bit bigger tonight
Two more teardrops somebody cried
One of them happy and one of them bluer than blue
The tide goes out and the tide comes in
And someday they'll be teardrops again
Released in a moment of pleasure or a moment of pain
Then they drift on down and ride to the sea again

2007-08-01T16:59:00.000-07:00

Ive been standing here
Waiting for you
But I don't quite know
What I'm gonna do
So I drag my heels and
I scratch the dust

I see the rain clouds forming
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

You told me lies to protect the truth
But you won't admit
What you're really gonna do
So you hold me to ransom
Every chance you get
And you tie me down
So I'm a broken man

I see the future fading
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

Your words are out of touch
But they don't help me much
cause I fear the fear of falling
You seem to hear no warning
Your words are out of touch
This dream won't come to much
cause I fear the fear of falling
Why can't you hear me calling
Forever calling

You change the rules
The color of your skin
And then slam the door
So I cant reach in
Ive tried so hard to be heard
So you think you know it all
But I'll steal the last word

Ive watched the daylight fading
The dream is disappearing
And I need it more than you
But you've got the power with you

Your words are out of touch
But they don't help me much
cause I fear the fear of falling
You seem to hear no warning
Your words are out of touch
Your dream wont come to much
cause I fear the fear of falling
Why cant you hear my warning

The dream is disappearing
cause you've got
The power with you

So here we are
This dream has gone too far ...

When

2007-07-26T05:07:00.000-07:00

When again will it happen again? I'm hungry... and there are so many good movies out.

Thrust

2007-07-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I hope that love he gave you,
Was just enough to save you.
You nearly broke my heart,
Just look at what you’re tearing apart!

Stab my back again,
It’s better when I bleed for you.
Walk on me,
There never was enough to do.

I can’t get past her,
Falling faster,
It's true.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

It’s better when I bleed for you.
It never was enough to do.
It hasn’t done a lot for you.

Acrimony

2007-07-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight I did some reading... I read all the posts back about nine months or so on my Xanga site. I read the protected posts that those of you here cannot see. The ones that only Sami and myself could read and comment on at the time. I think back on my time with Sami. We had some very good times. Honestly though, reading through all that makes me feel physically ill. I hadn't realized how far it had borrowed into my being. I wish her luck because I am incapable of wishing harm on someone. I also wish her to feel what I felt. To know what it was like to be there like I was and get hurt so badly. Part of me feels good knowing it's over, but part feels a sadness and longing of times once wonderful. I know she'll probably never read this but that is alright. It helps me put my heart and mind at ease writing it all down. I could spew volumes of how I feel but it'll never really fix the problem.

I took the seed of sorrow that was left of my heart.
I planted it alone in a shallow grave.
I gave it light and blood.
It's grown to fruition.
It is a black thing of despair and loathing.

It's so sad to witness. I know many of you feel this yourselves. It's hard to love someone and despise them at the same time. It is quite unavoidable though at this point.

Sigh

2007-07-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

It's been some time now since my last post. I was on vacation for two weeks. I was time off from work but it wasn't all happy and joyful. I had a great time with my cousin Jason in Waupaca to start. Got to go to an employee only party with about 40 women and 4 men and that was a blast... crazy girls! Then the second week I went to Jellystone park with my friends. So all in all there were good times. However the bad shit happened too... my Playstation Portable stopped working and as yet has to show signs of life... I chalk it up to how humid it's been. My phone's 9 key no longer functions and I think it's for the same reason. So yeah, basically two of my most used possessions now no longer work right. Ever tried txting someone without the use of the 9 key? It's nearly impossible since the letter Y is there! As for other bad shit... I'm tired of my crappy lack of hours at Staples. I'm going to go back to just Saturdays and get a full time job during the week. Actually on that point I do have some very good news.... I got two calls this week from employers interested in me. One is an insurance firm which sounds not so bad. The other is a week to two week long project replacing pc's for a large company with the potential to be hired on afterwords... this one is so me for work and pay is $18 an hour and it starts next Thursday. Sooo yeah, that'd be nice. Only drawback is that I'm scheduled at Staples T/Th/Fri/Sat these next weeks. Guess I'll just have to tell them I'm getting a new job? Dunno. Well, feedback and advice would be appreciated. :)

Mike

My penguin is bigger than your's!

2007-06-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

I am excited once again! It is THAT time of year... no not THAT time, I'm a guy. It's time for vacation! Two weeks of camping, family, friends and fun. I don't know why I'm so jubilant this year, but I am most excited. I guess maybe cause it's so beautiful out lately and I hope it stays such for two weeks at least. :) Speaking of beautiful, I heard from Nicole randomly the other night. I really do miss her. Alas, the things we may never know. Well, off to bed I go.

Misury

Adieu

2007-06-07T19:26:00.000-07:00

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want a statement you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

Amazing weekend

2007-05-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

Took a trip North to Lena to visit my cousin John at his new house. So much happened that I fail to remember it all... or it could've been the alcohol induced haze. :) Lot's of drinking since it was up Nort. All in all it was a fantastic time though. Made lots of new friends and hooked up with old ones. Had a huge ass cookout yesterday in the rain. Then just chilled, played drinking games and watched Blazing Sadles. Also got lots of pictures but my dumb ass forgot the camera there! Lol it's cool, John's dropping it off on his way to Madison when he's heading to work. Even had 3 girls put their numbers in my phone. Always nice when you don't even have to ask for the number. Drove back today and made it home in record time. Now I'm just eating a late breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs and fried toast. Yeah, it's not healthy but this whole weekend shot that idea all to hell. ;)

Mike

Hmmm

2007-05-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. That's all you get from me, deal with it. :)

Last weekend was my birthday weekend and it went by fast. Went out to eat with a bunch of family and friends at HuHot in Appleton. Most hadn't been there yet so it was made even better just by that fact alone. Everyone loved it! Then after the eats we went down to the little hole in the wall called The Wheel Inn. It's a tiny bar in Metrasha. B/c it was my birthday the owner gave me $4.00 pitchers of beer. YAY! Headache in the wings! Mom also decided to bring jello shots. I drank much too much but had a great time. Even got to see an old girlfriend of mine later in the evening. However we didn't finish at the Wheel, that was just the start! John (my cuz) and myself went downtown to The Bar. Boring, too packed. We went next door to Anduzzi's. Now this looked promising! It's also where I met up with my friend Chad and Dana (my ex). I was already pretty tanked from 13 or so jello shots plus the additional shots bought for me and all that beer. Hey, I got an idea! Let's drink 5 more shots while we are here! Oh yeah, nice choice Einstein. ;) In the end I was dancing with some girl I didn't know and very, very drunk. John and I ended up taking a cab home to my place. The driver was a madman. Took corners on two wheels I tell you! :) The best part was getting out walking to the back of the cab and purging. John came back and said, "What're you doing?!". My reply, "I'm wasting alcohol! What's your problem!". Do you know how hard it is to vomit and laugh at the same time? Lol. Anyways, there's more in my life right now but meh, I'm tired of typing right now so until next time...

Misury

Why?

2007-05-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

What is it, looking back, I always hold onto the ones that I shouldn't and don't go after the ones I should? I had her...

I loved her too soon and told her too late.

Mike

Sorry

2007-05-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I last posted. I went to see Spiderman 3 last night and it kicked ass! Talk about some great acting lol. Then went out to Park Central with my friends and got tanked. It's my birthday this next week so they felt that since they couldn't be around next weekend they make me suffer this weekend I guess. ;) Good time for it since it was Cinco de Mayo too. Anyways, completely useless weekend for productivity, but fun none the less. I miss a bunch of you. I hope I get to see you more soon.

Mike

Yep

2007-04-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

So Monday I have my interview for the new job. I'm so excited! :)

===Edit===

The following was removed. It was a confession of feelings for a certain girl. Lest she read it *and she always does* and it get her into trouble with her current boyfriend or cause her discomfort I've removed the content. I'll simply say, I miss you HB.

Misury

Today

2007-04-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

I've got my walk-thru and testing at Graphics Packaging in a little over a half an hour. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. Getting this could mean making some larger changes in my life... one's I probably should've made years ago. Now to go get the job. ;)

Misury

2007-04-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Thought it time for me to put up some of my pictures... stuff I took with my trusty Sony.

WoW

2007-04-06T16:17:00.001-07:00

As the title says I've been playing Worlds of Warcraft more lately. I am a 30/31 resto druid... Up until today I was going with this 30/31 build, which is a good hybrid between melee and healer... However I was missing the damage I was doing as a full feral build. I came up with this 30/31 build which has AMAZING damage. With the first build I'd typically have to heal after every fight or at least every other fight. With the new build I have to heal typically after every 10+ fights. The reason... I can stun and backstab the mob 3-4 times before it even gets to touch me... then I can stun it again and get another 2-3 backstabs in... the finish it off with a finishing move. HUGE dps (damage per second) difference! Ok, well I've rambled on enough about it but if you decide to play a druid try my build out, you won't be disappointed!

Misury

HOORAY!!!

2007-04-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

As dumb as it sounds yay, I passed that damn stone. It's about 5mm in size... not the largest to date but that's pretty large. Now I just have to get a new doctor so I can have them test it and see if THEY can tell me what I can do to prevent more...

Misury

Ow!

2007-03-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

Kidney stones suck ass. Like getting jackhammered in the balls, only without the foreplay and rough sex. Psh. What a loss...

Misury

Random

2007-03-29T09:34:00.001-07:00

Random

Your perceptions and my feelings are two different things. Do not force me to see things the way you want me to and I won't subject you to understanding my feelings.
=========================================================
Do not take me for granted. So long as you are still having good times does it really matter how many bad times might happen in between?
=========================================================
Your reality and mine are two very different places. I see things differently than you do and I'm ok with that. Speaking of which... wtf planet are you from anyway?! xD

Just random things I thought up. Lol.

Misury

Yuppers

2007-03-22T07:22:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... I was brought from my slumber this morning by Nicole's txt message at around 8 am. Stayed in bed contemplating my day until 9. Finally got up and got ready. It's really odd.. the things you think about when you simply shut out the outside world and just enjoy your solitude. Anyways, gotta run some errands and then I'm going to go do something outside I think. Have a good day kids! I'll post some new pics later that I took over the past few days. :)

Misury

Addendum to St. Pat's

2007-03-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hey kids... thought I'd put up a few pics from the other day. :)

Good times

2007-03-18T15:56:00.000-07:00

Just chilling at my Mom's waiting for Sunday dinner to be ready and thought I'd take a moment to post. I worked until 5:30 last night at Staples and then immediately changed and ran to Appleton to meet everyone at my aunt's place. We drank and celebrated Tom's birthday and had a damn fine time! Then I broke ranks and headed over to Kevin and Kate's place for some more drinking... man, did I mention I love St. Patty's Day?! xD Stayed there until about 12:30 and then headed to a bar in Menasha to chill with fam and friends for the rest of the night. All in all it turned out to be a really tight night and I had a ton of fun! Got LOTS of pics but haven't put any up yet... eventually I will get around to it. ;) Well I hope you all had a great time too!

Misury

Not bad

2007-03-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

I like this blogger setup. They allow custom javascripting and such. Added a chat feature to my page so if I'm online you can chat with me realtime. All hail Meebo!!! xD

On another note, I miss my newly found friend Nicole. She just doesn't have any time for me anymore. When I do hear from her it's only briefly and in the form of a text message or two and then she's gone again. Newly found and newly lost I guess. =/

Other than the usual life's not too bad. Working a lot lately. Picked up some new computer customers too. Nothing much else to report right now.

Grrr

2007-03-12T19:05:00.002-07:00

I'm not going to get into a bunch of details... People just make me mad and sad. Especially when they totally pull a 180. You think things are good. Then they just slap you across the face when you least expect it. Trust is always given freely but when you burn me it's really hard for me to be there when you decide that you wanna talk. Worst part is I don't think they realize they do it sometimes but it makes me feel like I've done something wrong.

Misury

I'm Sorry

2007-03-12T19:05:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry
That I bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an asshole

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just f**k you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to Talk To,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I've been there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes around

I'm sorry
If I answer my phone all the time when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care. But most of all

I'm sorry
For always being sorry

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you talk all night about how you wish you could have done something different.